Such is probably what happened with a phone answering machine message I heard yesterday.
I had returned a call from someone inquiring about my son’s Duplex for rent. But, as happens so often, I got his answering machine instead.

Wrong word choices can earn you a "thumbs down."

What it said caused me to think “I don’t think we’d want this guy for a tenant.”

What did he say?

“Leave a message and I’ll call you back at my earliest convenience.”

Now, maybe what he meant was “as soon as I can,” but what I heard was something along the lines of: “If I feel like it, when I get around to it, and if I have nothing better to do.”

It just goes to show that we need to think about the words we say – and what they might mean to the people hearing them.

My impression after this message was that this man would not make a good tenant. He’d be rude, arrogant, and demanding. He might also decide that it wasn’t “convenient” for him to pay the rent on time. In short, those few words made me think “I don’t like this guy.”

That’s a whole lot of bad impression from 4 little words, but that’s how it hit me.

The feelings and emotions words create DO make a difference in how the world sees us. And since we all have different past experiences to color or perceptions – we do need to be careful.

It’s one of those things that’s so simple, you have to think “Why didn’t I notice that before?”

If you’re talking about something that can be counted, you use the word “fewer.” The way to remember is that in our language we use “a few” to mean 3 or 4 of something. In other words, we use the word “few” in place of an actual number.

If you’re talking about something you can’t precisely count, use “less.”

So: “There are fewer stop lights on Main than on Mission.” And “Driving on Main is less stressful than driving on Mission.”

Or: “There are fewer calories in an apple than in a slice of apple pie.” And “An apple is less fattening than a slice of apple pie.”

Funny – we’re often tempted to say “Less” when we should say “fewer,” but the opposite isn’t true.

You might (incorrectly) say “I hope there will be less homes in foreclosure next month,” but no one would say “There’s fewer fog this morning than there was yesterday.”

Words. I sure don’t envy anyone trying to learn English as a second language.

For some reason, that got me thinking about the word “lavish” and the pictures it paints. It’s an intriguing word. It attracts attention – perhaps because it isn’t over-used.

I didn’t read the article yet but I would assume from the tone of the title that “Lavish pay” probably means “too much” or “How much I’d like to have.”

My trusty thesaurus says that when used as an adjective, “lavish” means: generous, liberal, extravagant, profuse, abundant, bountiful, immoderate, excessive, unsparing, lush, or prodigal.

Hmm… prodigal was interesting, so I looked that up in the dictionary. It means “wasteful, lavish, or reckless with money.”

So obviously, the word “lavish” can either convey a positive or a negative impression. It all depends on what you’re describing and why.

But what does the word “lavish” mean when you use it in your advertising? More to the point, since it is an attention-getting word, where and how can you use it to paint a vivid and positive word picture?

My first thought was it it would apply to a bountiful buffet table… but you don’t sell buffet tables with homes. At least not when they’re filled with tempting treats.

How about using it to describe lawns, shrubbery, and gardens?

Perhaps a “lavish master suite – complete with ….”

What else? How would YOU use it?

Share your thoughts!

My usual solution, if I can’t think how to spell a word or which word to use, is to just turn the sentence around and use a completely different word. But sometimes that’s difficult.

That’s why I was tickled when I learned a simple trick to help me decide if I should say “further” or “farther.”

It’s always been easy to remember that a person could further their cause or further their education. But when I wanted to say it was farther from here than it was to there, I could never remember… is it farther or further.

Well, tonight I got the answer. It came from a weekly writing tip from Basic Learning Systems. Most of the time I already know what they present in their tips, but once in a while I find a gem… and this was one of those times. Here it is:

Further refers to a degree or an abstract quality; farther involves space or physical distance. The easiest way to remember which word to use is to think: “FAR” (as in “farther”) is for distance or space. If distance isn’t involved, use “further.”

For example:

Yesterday I got a Google alert that one of my articles had been picked up for someone’s blog. This time the article and my resource box had been through an “article spinner,” which generally creates nonsense.

Interestingly, when this happens, they quite often take the phrase “retired home builder” and change it to “old bag builder.” (This is a reference to my husband in my bio.)

I would hope that everyone knows what I meant when I wrote “retired home builder,” but what is an “old bag builder?”

Does he build old bags?
Is he old and he builds bags?
Is he an old bag?

Whatever it was supposed to mean, the reader has to stop and think about it – and may come to the wrong conclusion.

Newspaper journalists are notorious for writing sentences that confuse because they put the modifiers in the wrong place.

Here’s a recent example, from an article about someone who caught a tagged fish that was worth $1,000.

“Of the 825 fish turned in since early spring, four have had tags worth money that have been returned to the department.”

Huh?? What does that sentence say??

If they wrote “four that have been returned to the department have had tags worth money” it would make sense. But the way it’s written you have to stop and ask if they mean the money was returned. If so, “have” should have been “has.”

So… after you write it, read it. Check to see if your meaning is clear and if your modifiers are in the right places. And just to be on the safe side, ask someone else to read it too.

When you market with words, you want the message to flow. You definitely don’t want anyone to stop and wonder what you meant. When that happens, your momentum is lost and you send your reader away from the thoughts and feelings that you are trying to evoke.

OK – I hear you telling me that of course they have to think. And they do. They have to decide whether or not to take action, but that’s not the thinking I’m talking about.

I’m talking about having to stop and think before they understand your message. If they have to stop in the middle of the message and think about what you’re trying to say, the flow is lost, and quite often, the customer is lost along with it.

Instead, your message should flow smoothly from the words they’re reading, through their eyes and straight to the centers in their brains that let them understand the meaning of your marketing message.

The flow is important because from understanding they can move to feeling, and from feeling they can move to action.

Sure, they might stop at that point and think about whether or not they should act. They might even back up and re-read the features and benefits you’re offering. At that point they’re trying to justify why they should buy.

If you’ve done a good job, they’ll also have to think twice before they can justify saying no, because they understand the benefits of saying yes.

But you must not make them think about the words in your message.

How can you keep from making those customers think about your words?

First, by going over and over your message to see that each idea flows smoothly into the next.

One way is to break the rules you learned in 5^th grade and use words like “and” and “but” to start a sentence. Write the way people talk. Then, after you’ve written your message and you’re happy with the flow, read it aloud and change any spots that make you stumble.

The next step is to make sure you aren’t using any words that your target audience won’t understand. If your product is technical but your customers are not, stay away from the “techie” terms.

Now proofread – or better yet, get someone else to proofread.

Good copy does break the rules of grammar and instead follows the speech we use in everyday life. But you must check for misused words, because they are just like huge stop signs in the middle of your copy.

If you write something like “The Smiths want to sell there home,” anyone who knows proper word usage will be “stuck” right there. Their brains will be trying to reconcile the word “there” with the context of the sentence and it won’t be working. The flow of your message will be lost forever. Worse, they may have a negative impression of you – based on you choosing the wrong word.

There and there are two of the most commonly misused words, but there are more. Others words are hear/here; your/you’re; of/have, and are/our.

If you’re writing a marketing message and you aren’t positive about the meaning of those words, take the time to get out your dictionary and learn them, because misuse will hurt the effectiveness of your message.

If so, you may get more comedy than content.

This morning I got a google alert that one of my ezine articles had been picked up by someone. When I read the little blurb that came with the notice I started laughing, so of course had to go see what the article looked like.

I suppose I should have been upset, because my name is on it. But instead I laughed until I had tears in my eyes.

This was an article about buying or building in a subdivision, subject to conditions, covenants, and restrictions.

Here’s some of what I found:

A paragraph that said:

Associations protect property values by restricting things like junk cars in the driveway, and give you percs such as access to a fitness room, golf course, or pool. Some even take care of your yard maintenance.

Came out like this:

Associations protect concept values by restricting things same fling cars in the driveway, and provide you percs such as admittance to a shape room, sport course, or pool. Some modify verify tending of your field maintenance.

Another one that said:

You may also learn that you’re restricted in the kind of roofing and siding you use – and if the house is to be painted, the color of that paint.

Ended up like this:
You haw also see that you’re limited in the category of roofing and railroad you ingest – and if the concern is to be painted, the colouration of that paint.

But the reason I’m still laughing is the description that came on my google alert. The actual resource box read:

Marte Cliff is a freelance copywriter – a former real estate broker, and the wife of a retired home builder. Over 20 years experience in dealing with both new home construction and clients who were financially damaged over land purchases and home construction projects led her to write two consumer e-books on the subjects.

But when I read it on Google it said:

Marte Cliff is a worker copywriter – a past actual realty broker, and the spouse of a old bag builder. Over 20 eld undergo in handling with both newborn bag cerebration and clients who were financially dilapidated over realty purchases and bag cerebration projects led her to indite digit consumer e-books on the subjects.

I’ve been calling my husband an “Old Bag Builder” all day, and I’m still laughing…

]]> http://marte-cliff.com/wordpress/2009/06/article-altering-software-should-you-use-it/feed/ 2 http://marte-cliff.com/wordpress/2009/05/can-your-words-be-twisted-to-a-new-meaning/ http://marte-cliff.com/wordpress/2009/05/can-your-words-be-twisted-to-a-new-meaning/#comments Thu, 07 May 2009 01:54:03 +0000 Marte Cliff http://marte-cliff.com/wordpress/?p=352 All professional copywriters and marketers try to be careful with the words they use – thinking ahead to how someone else might understand them. That’s one of the reasons that writing good copy takes a lot more time than many would think.

That said, I haven’t read the words that made the laws for the following “rules” but have to assume that the people who wrote them meant something different…

From my email today:

• In Danville, Pennsylvania, fire hydrants must be checked one hour before all fires.
• Oklahoma law requires that drivers involved in fatal accidents stop immediately and give their names and addresses to those who were struck.
• In Lakefield, Ontario, legislation permits birds to sing for 30 minutes during the day and 15 minutes at night.

Be careful… make sure your words mean what you intended, no matter who reads them!

(Hint: Ask a friend or two to read your copy before you send it out… and ask them what you meant.)

The people who wrote the instructions knew what they meant, but sure didn’t leave me a clue.

So any time you’re writing from an expert status to an audience of people who are not expert, you need to remember to clarify what you mean, even when the terms are well understood in your industry. That is, unless you sell only to other experts.

The second thing to consider is the point of understanding determined by your audience’s identity.

For instance, yesterday I picked up the local “ad paper” to read while I ate lunch. And I came across the words “dead broke” in one of the ads.

What’s the first thing that comes to your mind? Probably a person who has no money, right? Is this person trying to sell something because he or she is dead broke and needs cash fast? Is the “broke” status given as a reason for a low price?

No, that wasn’t it at all. Instead of a negative, the term was a positive. You see, I was reading ads for horses for sale. And if you’re talking about a horse, “dead broke” means that horse is a good one. He’s mannerly and obedient, and he doesn’t get excited over things that put some horses in a tizzy.

I don’t suppose you’re trying to sell a horse to someone who doesn’t know horse lingo, but do keep this in mind when you write an ad, or even a letter. If you’re trying to appeal to people who are new to your industry or your product, be sure that you don’t use any words or phrases with a double meaning. At least, not unless you go on to clarify.

Wishing you good words,
Marte